Monday, June 8, 2009

Doghouse of regret

This is my friend Ø. He is a musher and a carpenter. He takes care of dogs and hammers away all day, every day.
For some reason he agreed to build a doghouse for a friend. He claims he has absolutely no idea why he would want to volunteer to do even more dog-related carpentry in his already completely non-existant spare time.
"For fucks sake," he said.
This is a semi-detached model for two dogs. An inner wall separating the two units will be added later.
"Goddamn fucking shit fuck," Ø. explained. 
But note that Ø. has perfected the art of building dog houses that are as sturdy and snug as possible for the dogs, without weighing five hundred thousand pounds.  Pictured here is the frame and the inner plywood walls. Insulation and exterior walls, (shiplafted boards, I imagine) will be added later. On his own dog houses, Ø. often fastens a door hinged at the top to flap both ways, short enough to leave a substantial clearance above the threshold to prevent a dogs' hind legs from being trapped when it swings shut. 
They're great dog houses.
"Fucking cunt shit dog crap," commented Ø.

1 comment:

Eileen A. Brodie said...

As a carpenter myself, I laughed outloud at your friend's language. I am a fan of good writing and elegant language of any ethnicity--but there is no denying a certain universal way of speaking when in construction mode.
My friends say I go through a certain odd change in the middle of a project. This comes after working with scores of guys on projects, all talented, yet it's true that on the job most feel free to engage in coarse language. While a steel bar or big hammer can be a good "persuader" it is never as persuasive as a well-placed swear word. Balky lumber, dimwit helpers, even insensitive clients (out of earshot of course) can be brought into line with such. Notably, self-deprecating swear comments help, too. In this way you can chastise yourself for taking on one project too many. Good carpenters are in demand; most of us do the work because we must. Not only to earn a living--but because we can't help it; we love the work. Anyway, nice job your friend was doing.